We Wrote the Book on Connectors

At the Sizzler – WEekly Challenge #8 – song complete

posted on August 1, 2011 by Mike

Yep, I used to work at the Sizzler. My sister got me the job one summer and it was a dandy. I was in charge of the most important department in the restaurant, the world famous Sizzler salad bar. People like the steaks, but they absolutely went bananas for the salad. “Hot damn!” they would say to me. “That’s a mighty fine salad Bar!” And as the self-proclaimed “King of the Salad Bar”, I ruled over it with an iron fist. My little salad bar kingdom reigned supreme. Unfotunately, after only a few short months I became corrupt with Salad Power. Almost instantly overnight I went from Salad King to Salad Tyrant. I was a monster and had to be stopped. Eventually Sizzler managment stepped in and did what had to be done. They stripped me of my crown, and told me to pack up my tongs. It was indeed a sad day in sports.

So here’s my song inspired by my first job, the glorious few unforgetable months that I spent at the Sizzler, back when my life had purpose. Special thanks to my good friends, Charles Barkley and Conan O’Brien, for stopping by the studio last week to help out on the track. Thanks, guys. I owe you one.

[audio:https://wewrotethebookonconnectors.com/WE1/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/At-the-Sizzler.mp3|titles=At the Sizzler |artists=We Wrote the Book on Connectors]

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TAGS: Charles Barkley, Conan O'brien, job, Larry Bird, pack up your tongs, salad, salad bar, Sizzler, tyrant, WEekly Challenge

4 to 6:45- WEekly Challenge #8

posted on August 1, 2011 by Ben

My first job was when I was 14 at a grocery store called Hy-Vee. Hy-Vee’s slogan was “where there’s a helpful smile, in every isle”.

I started out at Hy-Vee working as a “bottle boy”. This was before they had fancy machines to sift through all of your deposit bottles and cans. It was really gross. I also bagged groceries and worked at the “drive thru”(or now that I think of it maybe it was called “drive up”). For those not from the midwest, the “drive up” is a service grocery stores offer where you can get a number when you pay for your groceries, drive around to a special loading area where you give a guy your number and he loads your groceries into your car. This job really sucked in the winter time. Other times it was really fun. We goofed off a lot! We wrestled big bags of dog food, looked through peoples groceries, and found different ways to ride around on the shopping carts.
I worked there with a bunch of the kids I went to school with including my best friend at the time Matt Goode. Matt was pretty wild in those days and we always got into crazy adventures at Hy-Vee. When writing this song I knew I had to include him somehow.

Oh, I almost forgot. When you are under 16 in the state of Iowa, you can’t legally work past 7 on a school night. To avoid getting in big trouble, Hy-Vee would schedule you from 4-6:45 to make sure there was no way you would clock off after 7.

This song is dedicated to all the other kids who worked at Hy-Vee through there Middle School/High School years.
[audio:https://wewrotethebookonconnectors.com/WE1/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/01-4-to-6_452.mp3|titles=4 to 645|artists=We Wrote the Book on Connectors ]

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TAGS: band, band of the future, bottle boy, dog food wrestling, first job, helpful smile in every isle, Hy-Vee, matt goode, songwriting, we, we wrote the book on connectors, WEekly Challenge

Adventures in song writing – Spike In My Hair

posted on July 29, 2011 by Mike

Most of the time my fellow band mates have no idea what I’m singing about because they either, don’t care, can’t hear me clearly enough at rehearsals, or a combination of both. Once we hit the studio it’s a different story. They still might not care, however, they can certainly hear me loud and clear.

So there I was, in the sound booth laying down this vocal track, doing my thing. When I come out, everybody’s laughing. That was the first time the rest of the band could actually understand what the hell I’ve been singing all this time. One of the first lines in the song is “this must be where all the pretty bears come to procreate”. They informed me that the word “bear” is not the endearing term used to describe cute attractive women that I thought it was, but in fact, it is a word used to describe the exact opposite. So because of that one word, a song that was supposed to be about hitting the clubs and hooking up with girls, is actually about hitting the clubs and hooking up with big burly gay guys, AKA “bears”. Silly me, so naive…

Oh well, it doesn’t matter. Any song that has a sweet Bell Biv Devoe reference is all right in my book. There is no denying it. Spike In My Hair is a fun song, and WE have always been all for gay people, so we’ve decided to insert this tune back into our mustache rock repertoire. It’s a win win situation for everyone. You will be able to hear it live when you come to our next show, Saturday August 6th at the EMP.

[audio:https://wewrotethebookonconnectors.com/WE1/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/18-Spike-In-My-Hair.mp3|titles=Spike In My Hair |artists=We Wrote the Book on Connectors]

Come a little bit closer
I really like the way you shake that ass
this must be where all the pretty bears come to procreate
Take a look at my trophies
they say that I’m the champion
gonna bring you home when it’s time to bone another victory
Hundred dollar shirt and some matching shoes
I know my mirror loves my moves
gonna need more time to put that spike in my hair
hope to see you there
Let’s keep the party moving
with another shot of alcohol
finish the whole thing then proclaim me king of the ballroom
I don’t like where this is going
you better check your fucking attitude
I already know Bell Biv Devoe would think you’re poisonous

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TAGS: adventure, bears, Bell Biv Devoe, emp, gay people, music, poison, spike in my hair

WEekly Challenge #8 – song inspired by first job

posted on July 28, 2011 by Mike

Hey, fools! I still need work. And what better way to prepare my brain for a crappy new job that I don’t want than to spend some time reminiscing about my very first job. That is why WEekly Challenge #8 is to make a song inspired by your first job. Failure to complete the challenge will result in having to wash the other person’s car. Ben and I will be the participants for this challenge.

Hoo haaa! Finished songs will be posted on Monday.

Now, I’m off to band practice. Don’t forget to come to our show on Saturday August 6th at the EMP.

Love, WE

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TAGS: first job, hooo ha, suck it trebek, WEekly Challenge

WEekly Challenge #7 -FAIL!!

posted on July 28, 2011 by Ben

So I picked this challenge because I’ve been working a lot lately and thought it would be fun. Plus a lot of people identify with work songs.

So, I don’t want to make excuses but I do want to explain why I didn’t finish my song.

I WAS WORKING ALL WEEK!

I worked 4 days at the Lippman Company, and then spent 2 days doing my first gig as a professional extra for a tv show(I’ll tell you more about that later). Both of the days working on the show were over 13 hour days! I did have Sunday off from work, but Travis and Hollie were in town so we had planned a big BBQ at our house and I was busy cleaning, fixing up the yard, and of course drinking!

So since I didn’t finish my song I am required to volunteer for at least an hour for a good cause. I’ll try to volunteer more than that since an hour doesn’t seem like enough time to really dig in and make a difference. I’ll try to get this done within the next month and I’ll let everybody know how it goes. Does anybody have any good suggestions for where I should volunteer in Portland?

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TAGS: fail, Lippman Company, WEekly Challenge, work

Don’t Tell Stuart (MJV version) – WEekly Challenge #6 – finally finished it

posted on July 25, 2011 by Mike

I know this song is a week late, but so what. Sometimes that’s the way these WEekly challenges go. Making a new song every week is not as easy as it sounds, so shut your stupid face (I’m looking at you, Galen).

It probably doesn’t sound like it, but I spent more time working on this challenge than any other previous. This is the second version I did, and the one I sort of had to “settle” for after my first attempt spun out of control like a gaggle of drunken tornados. The first version was much more elaborate and much closer to my original vision, but also a lot more frustrating and way less finished due to the fact that, despite my best efforts, I couldn’t get my dumb drum sequencing machine to cooperate with me. For those of you out there attempting to swing the beat in Fruity Loops, let me give you some advice. Forget about it. It is impossible.

At any rate, here is my version of the song that Galen wrote, Don’t Tell Stuart. My favorite line is the one about playing catch with the medicine ball. It’s a subject that tugs at my heart strings. When I was in grade school, I had two experiences playing catch with a medicine ball. Both times resulted in the medicine ball going through the wall. Clearly, Stuart and I must have a lot in common.

[audio:https://wewrotethebookonconnectors.com/WE1/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Dont-Tell-Stuart1.mp3|titles=Don’t Tell Stuart (MJV version) |artists=We Wrote the Book on Connectors]

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TAGS: Don't Tell Stuart, drunken tornados, Galen Green, MJV version, music, new website, song

Work Is For Jerks – WEekly Challenge #7 – song complete

posted on July 25, 2011 by Mike

I hope everyone out there can appreciate the irony of me spending an afternoon’s worth of hours in a studio that I can’t really afford, making a song about “the hard working man”, when I should be instead be spending that time actually trying to find a job. Seriously folks, I’m in trouble. This rock star business doesn’t pay as well as I think it should. In fact, it doesn’t pay at all.

My new immediate goal is to find a job that actually pays. And until I do, to help me stay motivated i decided to give up two of my favorite activities, excercise and booze. So next time you see me, if I’m fat, homeless, and sober, you will know that my quest for emplyoyment has failed. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

Now, on to the song. I wrote it yesterday during my sunny Sunday afternoon drive from Seattle to Bellingham. Feel free to enjoy it.

“Work is for jerks.” – Mike Votava

[audio:https://wewrotethebookonconnectors.com/WE1/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Work-Is-For-Jerks.mp3|titles=Work Is For Jerks |artists=We Wrote the Book on Connectors]

Work is for jerks
spending all my time slaveing away
please believe there must be a better way
I need to find a job
how am i supposed to pay the rent?
when all of my money has already been spent
somebody is due for a change
keep your head up, Michael James
make a million bucks with your face
time for you to go get paid
someday you will have it made

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TAGS: booze, homeless, job, mp3, music, song, WEekly Challenge, working man

Dinosaur Socks, don’t fail me now!

posted on July 22, 2011 by Mike

Dinosaur Socks are real.

Nothing like putting on a fresh pair of Dinosaur Socks to help get the weekend started off right. I’ve been pretty mopey all week, but not anymore… not while I’m walking around with these babies on my feet.

Contrary to popular belief, Dinosaur Socks are real, they are on my feet, and they have saved me. They always do.

[audio:https://wewrotethebookonconnectors.com/WE1/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Dinosaur-Socks.mp3|titles=Dinosaur Socks |artists=We Wrote the Book on Connectors]

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TAGS: dinosaur socks, mopey, music, song

WEekly Challenge #7- Song for the working man(or woman)

posted on July 20, 2011 by Ben

Sometimes working can be rewarding. Sometimes work provides a chance to be creative, to solve problems and to help people. Other times it can be a completely soul draining experience that makes question what your doing with your life and drive you to drinking.

Lucky for all of us there is music(and whiskey). There are so many good “working man” songs out there so I figured WE should write our own “Take this job and shove it” or “9 to 5”. To make things a bit more interesting this weeks penalty for not finishing the song in time will be volunteering for at least 1 hour at a local charity. Results will be posted on Monday, July 25th.
Here’s a little something to get into the mood with!

1 COMMENT
TAGS: band of the future, take this job and shove it, we, we wrote the book on connectors, WEekly Challenge, work songs, working

Don’t Tell Stuart (Galen version) – WEekly Challenge #6

posted on July 18, 2011 by Mike

Hot off the press! As promised, here is Galen’s version of his song Don’t Tell Stuart. Galen says:

“My friend Stuart once told me he was afraid of discovering that he was secretly retarded, and that no one had ever told him. Preposterous! We are all so proud of Stuart, and we wish he could somehow hear this rousing anthem to his greatness – but alas, he hasn’t learned to use the internet.”

[audio:https://wewrotethebookonconnectors.com/WE1/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Dont-Tell-Stuart.mp3|titles=Don’t Tell Stuart |artists=Galen Green]

Good job, Galen. WE are very impressed by your musical stylings.

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TAGS: Don't Tell Stuart, Galen Green, music, retards, song, WEekly Challenge